|
now | oldies | me | host | design an early birthday present today when i did my maghrib, i took a little bit more time to say thank you. i think i spent quite a long time asking Him for things but i have neglected to say thank you. i let my emotions get the better of me. but today was a good day because i finally felt at peace. ever since the visit to dr toh, his words have been nagging at me at every second. i think my closest friends suffered the worst when they had to deal with a cengeng lynn each time we were out for dinner. i told people many times that i am lucky to be posted to my school because this was the place that i grew up and matured, and made me a stronger person. a few months ago, one of my colleagues, who has known me for quite some time, said that i was a changed person. i am no more that short-tempered, short-fused person who blabs on and on. i am now quieter. more reflective. and i think before i speak. where i used to be a person who was so quick to judge a person, and label them "good" or "bad", i now take my time to get to know a person. of course, this also makes me more cautious and less approachable than before. i try to understand why a person acts the way he or she does. i tend to forgive easier now than before. all these changes would not have happened if i have not have the privilege of very sound, mature and reflective people around me. God also has showed me many times not to speak too soon of a person, because He tends to show very quickly how wrong i am. when accusations were thrown at me for things i did not do or had no control over, i kept quiet. when i realized that my shortcomings and weaknesses were being shared and told to others, still i kept quiet. i could have reciprocated, nobody makes mistakes too? but why stoop so low? when people were influenced to think that i had decided against something, i thought that was the last straw, because people whom i have been with for a year, two and even three, had changed opinions about me. still i kept quiet. all i said to one particular person that one day when i couldn't hold it all in was, "you have to be fair to me too and ask for my side of the story." little did i realize that when i kept and kept, it began to get to me. today, i learned a lot of new things. 2) never, ever talk about y's shortcomings to x. i will unwittingly cause y to have dubious views about x, which may or may not be true. whatever the case, even if it's true or not, i will let y find out for his or her self. 3) always, and always find out the other side of the story. there are always two versions. ii is just simply not fair to the other party. 4) and lastly, always believe in myself. i am here for a reason. i know who i am. i know what i want to do. i know what i want to be. i will not let other people take that away from me. i simply cannot. when all the things that you are and you hope to achieve has been taken away from you, there will be nothing left of you that's really you. i know i am speaking in circles. i know that, like many other encrypted entries in this blog, that many years, or maybe months down the road, i may or may not remember what's happened. but i wanted to commemorate this day, five days before my 31st birthday, to give myself the best birthday present that i will get for the whole of this year. oh, but darl, if you wanna get me another kate spade, that will be a great present too :>
augustana - boston Get Your Own Free Hypster.com Playlist. |
